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Bloody Knuckles

"Germans," he muttered. "Engineering geniuses my ass."

Another tenth of a turn.

"Why are the bolts so long?"

His hand cramped, sweat poured into his eyes. Pain radiated up his neck; it felt like the back of his brain was on fire.

"DAMN!!"

Movement, maybe a twelfth of a turn. Each millimeter of progress required ridiculous effort.

He placed the wrench again and began to turn. Slip, torque released, hand slams onto metal.

"GAAAAH! BASTARD CAR! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME!?!"

Blood poured from grease-caked skin. He knew it was time to cool his temper over a beer.

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1 Note
Nate about 1 year ago

Nonfiction, I bet. :)

There are abstract moments in this story which are hard to grasp, on first read. For example, "Another tenth of a turn" is difficult to see as concrete. It becomes more clear as the story goes on, but for as much as we're put into the character's emotional state, we're not getting as clear a picture of his physical environment and the car.

Nitpicks:
- Try a comma and in-text quotes: "'Engineering genuises,' my ass."
- Why two exclamation points for "DAMN!!"?
- I don't know if there's a hard-and-fast rule for it, but I believe ?! is the right way to mark a question-with-exclamation.