Our first night out together was a midnight showing of "The Big Lebowski" at the Uptown. Promising!

Premos at her place after, talk about our favorite movies, music, jobs, etc. Three obscure "Spinal Tap" references and I was ready to have babies.

A goodnight kiss...I walked on air for days...

Date two...dinner out, Italian, much vino. Stolen glances, hand-holding under the table, whispered confessions of growing affection...

...then she mentioned that she wrote slash fiction...about Scott Baio.

"Baby, you're a doll," I said, "but it would never last."