The car sat in the driveway, the engine idling quietly, a gentle snow falling softly on the windshield.
"You look like you want to say something," she said.
"I do."
"Then say it."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I know what your answer will be, and I can't stand to hear you say it."
She looked at him for what seemed like an eternity as their breath hung in the air between them, then silently rose from her seat and left him alone in the car.
"I want you back," he whispered breathlessly as she slowly walked away.
Sign up now to give notes to the Scrawlers you're reading and scrawl your own stories.
This is incredibly heartbreaking...and heartbreakingly incredible!
The winter scene described is the perfect backdrop. Everything about it is so real, so frail. I can feel the cold and I can see the steam pouring out of their mouths, like car exhaust. I can't wait to read more!
Very good! I can see the scene very clearly and I can feel the tension between the two in the car. The way he finally says what he wanted to say after she leaves is great, really highlights that aching want that he knows is not going to be fulfilled.
I can imagine your story so vividly. I could also feel the tension your dialogue created. I think you ended it great by him breathlessly whispering- very realistic and emotional. I can feel his pain for his loss.