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fifty

They say that 50 is just a number. For some fifty is old for others it is just the start. For Bill it was a time of new beginnings. He had just retired and his youngest just graduated for college. He had given everything for his daughters. He had spent the last ten years as both father and mother. He still missed her and wished that she had gotten to she the wedding, graduations, and grandkids.

Now it was time for him to restart his life and new adventures. Fifty is just a number there is alot to come.

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2 Notes
Nate about 1 year ago

This almost feels like a preamble to a story to follow - it's a nice hook. There's some repetition in the "He had" which both works and could use work - I'm not sure how I feel about it, yet. You've found a lot to say about your character in a brief introduction - good work.

Nitpicky - spell out the word "fifty," for both grammar and consistency. A couple commas would clarify the second sentence.

Prof responded about 1 year ago

After posting I noticed that I forgot to change 50 to fifty. I also noticed a few spelling errors and several missing commas. I really like the feedback. I feel that it has helped me to clean up my writing.

Barry about 1 year ago

You cheeky bastard...using the fact that you were writing the fiftieth story as your subject matter. On second thought, great job! Way to come up with a unique prompt. Inspiration can come from anywhere!

(For those confused by this note, check the story title versus the URL. Indeed, "fifty" is the fiftieth story written at Scrawlers.)